Communication To Avert Conflict

Communication is essential for a marriage, or any relationship for that matter, to work. Without effective communication and conflict management, two people who have the best intentions for each other may still end up emotionally distant.

There was a story about a couple who was filing a divorce. The man filing the divorce told the lawyer that he just hated the breakfast meal that his wife often prepared for him. In response, the wife said that she only prepared the meal because she thought it was her husband's favourite. Truth was, she hated doing it because it was so difficult to prepare! She endured the inconvenience out of love for her husband. It only came to such an ugly outcome because neither of them took the initiative to speak their minds.

So how do you get your message across without hurting the other person's feelings?

Start by substituting negative statements with positive ones. For example, instead of saying "You don't understand," say "Let me explain." Instead of remarking "You're wrong," say "Allow me to clarify." Instead of stating "You failed to say," just mention "Perhaps this was not stated."

Nothing could be more pleasing to the ear than hearing someone else say that you are right. In this case, be prepared to let other people know that you respect their opinions. You may add your comments at the end, but acknowledge them first.

Say:
"You're right, although..."
"Great suggestion, however..."
"I agree with your opinion, however..."
"I would feel the same way if I were you, although..."
"I understand your situation, however…"

Reassure your counterpart that the decision made will benefit both parties. People need to feel that they have made the right choice.

Communication is a gift. Learn to use it wisely for the health of your relationships.

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The Gremlins of Grammar: A Guide to Conquering the Mischievous Myths That Plague American English
By Toni Boyle and K.D. Sullivan
To check availability online, click here.

Who or whom? Advice or advise? Farther or further? If these nasty bits of grammar are always bothering you, you probably are the victim of a gremlin, one from The Gremlins of Grammar that is.

While some grammar books take a school-teacher approach (and bore readers off the proper use of grammar), Toni Boyle and K.D. Sullivan provide conversational instruction peppered with anecdotal examples. They understand that grammar is a struggle, even for most native English speakers. As such, their book is centered more on correcting common mistakes, rather than establishing foundations.

Incorrect punctuation use, commonly mis-spelt words, even mis-pronounced words are some of the areas tackled in this book. Each chapter closes with a Tips list, some are summaries of the chapters, others are fresh tips to help you along. In a gist, the advice penned by the authors to ensure the least mistakes in any given writing, speech, or presentation;

1) Brief: Keep it short
2) Specific: To the point
3) Simple: Drop the big words
4) Accurate: Get your facts right
5) Positive: Don't criticize or bad-mouth

Although the book has an American English focus, the errors and mistakes pointed out are common to all English use. It is the hope, that even if we can't eliminate these gremlins of grammar, we can at least keep their mischief down.

By June Hoo Pui Ling, Librarian, National Library Board

How do you use the expression "as such". Often it is used as the same meaning as "therefore" eg "It was raining very heavily yesterday. As such, we did not go swimming." Is the usage of "as such" in the above sentence correct?

The standard definition for "as such" as in Merriam-Webster Dictionary is "as intrinsically considered: in itself".

For example:
1. "As such the gift was worth little." (The gift in itself was worth little).
2. "I have nothing against cats as such but they do tend to use our garden as a toilet." (I have nothing against cats themselves; it's just their act of using our garden as a toilet).
3. "The job as such was easy, but required a lot of time." (The job in itself was easy, it's just time consuming).

However the linking usage of "as such" is quite common.

"It was raining very heavily yesterday. As such, we did not go swimming."

Though both as such and therefore perform the linking function, the form they take and the meaning are different as shown in the examples below.

He was head of the family and as such he was always obeyed.
Such means of that, or similar, kind. It is an adjective and as such it must have a noun, or pronoun, to describe. The noun here is head (of the family).

He was head of the family and was therefore always obeyed.

Therefore means for that reason, accordingly, consequently. It is an adverb and as such it tells us more about a verb (obeyed).

This linking usage of "as such " is quite common and is a normal example of grammatical change in progress and is not necessarily incorrect.

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Beyond Words
Mon - Fri, 7.50am and 9.45am

Just as posture betrays your age and character to some extent, so does your voice reveal to others your age and many of your personality characteristics. Observe how on the stage an actress portraying the role of an old woman, for example, uses a voice that quavers, because such an aged woman no longer has enough strength in her diaphragm to control the column of air so that it comes out in a steady stream.

The fluttering type of woman is portrayed by allowing many inflections in a hit-and-miss fashion, indicating very little mental poise, as well as no diaphragmatic control.

The listless person has a voice that is dull and lifeless. It is well to consider what type of character your voice tells others you are. If you are misrepresenting yourself by your speech and voice, you should do something about it.

For other conversation tips,
join Michelle Martin every weekday as she talks about communication skills in Beyond Words on FRESH. To listen to the programme again, log on to 938LIVE.sg.

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A “Growing” Book
2 June 2007
2.30 pm to 3.30 pm
Sengkang Community Library
Admission : Free

What is a “Growing” book? How do you make a book “GROW”? Find out at this workshop. Limited to 30 children between 5 and 10 years old. Registration is required.

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Book-making For Budding Writers!
10 June 2007
2.30 pm to 3.30 pm
Cheng San Community Library
Admission : Free

Have you always wanted to write a book but don’t know how to get started? Meet Adeline Foo, as she reveals the art of writing and teaches you how to put a book together. For children aged 6 to 8 years old.

938LIVE Gets You Talking as Singapore's only all news and talk radio station. We'll give you all you need to know about What's In, What's On and What's Up in Singapore.

Find out about our next networking event here.

Do you usually view the compliment with suspicion or disbelief? Are you usually dismissive - "No, this old thing? I only wear it because it's comfy" or "No, I thought I was really nervous!"

Many people are uncomfortable with praise and compliments. We can be so busy judging ourselves harshly that we don't quite know what to do with positive feedback.

We should embrace positive feedback and accept compliments graciously. By doing this, we open up the door for more positive thoughts and interactions, and we actually start to believe them.

Here are some steps towards accepting compliments graciously.

1. Notice. Begin by noticing what you tend to say when someone gives you a compliment. Do you minimize it by saying, "Oh, it was nothing"? Do you challenge it by saying, "No, I don't look good, I look awful!" or do you find yourself so uncomfortable that you're at a complete loss for words?

2. Practice. You can learn to accept compliments more graciously. After noticing what you tend to do now, decide how you'd like to respond the next time you receive a compliment. Then, practice saying your new response until saying it feels natural and sincere. A warm and heartfelt, "thank you" coupled with a smile is always appropriate. Be cautious of feeling the need to explain, justify, or return a compliment automatically.

3. Focus on the person who's giving you the compliment. Expect the best and act on the assumption that the person is sincere. Focus on being kind and courteous to that person. If you make them feel good by accepting their compliment with genuine appreciation, they'll remember that and speak up the next time they have something positive to share with you.

4. Try it from the other side. Another way to get better at accepting compliments is to give more compliments. Notice how other people receive them. This can improve your relationships greatly, because now you'll be focused more on the other person.

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Quite Literally: Problem Words and How to Use Them
By Wynford Hicks
To check availability online, click here.

If you've ever been stuck in mid-sentence, wondering if the word you are about to use can be so employed, this handy guide may just be the resource you need. The word list is comprehensive rather than encyclopedic, meaning there is a good chance you would recognize words you had previously come across, rather than overloading you with all manner of obscure but not very useful trivia. The emphasis is on writing and formal speeches, as opposed to more informal everyday social or business conversations, or email communications.

The entries I found the most intriguing and delightful were the ones in the category the author described as "franglais", ie French phrases or words that have been assimilated into English. Many of these, it seems, were not proper French words or phrases to begin with, but nonetheless, they have been clumsily or willfully co-opted into the English language.

Written with light-hearted wit and dash, this collection of troublesome worlds will help to sharpen one's sense of when to use the right word to achieve the desired effect.

By Nur Hakim Low, Librarian, National Library Board

What is the difference in the use of the words some and any in these two sentences?

Do you want any tea?
Would you like to have some lemonade?
Would it be possible to change the sentence to "Do you want some tea?" and "Would you like to have any lemonade?"

Traditionally, teachers have taught that we use 'some' in positive statements and 'any' in negative statements and questions:

There is some tea in the kitchen. (Positive statement)
There isn't any tea in the kitchen. (Negative statement)
Is there any tea in the kitchen? (Question)

Modern research, however, has shown that this distinction is not actually followed and the two are used fairly interchangeably as the question suggests. However, there does appear to be a slight difference in meaning.

'Some' seems to refer to a more specific item; 'any' to something less specific. Thus, if the tea has already been made, the speaker would probably say: 'Do you want some tea?'

However, this is not a hard and fast rule.

Click here to email your questions to us!
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Beyond Words
Mon - Fri, 7.50am and 9.45am

What should you do if the subject under discussion is of no interest to you? Listen courteously until the speaker has finished. Then, if it appears that others in the group are not particularly interested, you may, through an adroit question or observation, direct attention to something of more general interest.

For other conversation tips,
join Michelle Martin every weekday as she talks about communication skills in Beyond Words on FRESH. To listen to the programme again, log on to 938LIVE.sg.

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The Winds Of Victory – Children’s Animation Stories
19 May 2007
2.30 to 3.00 pm
Bukit Merah Library
Admission: Free

What are the qualities of a true champion? Kenji Saito is the star soccer player of his high school. Under the caring guidance of his coach, Kenji learns valuable lessons about team work and fair play. For children aged 9 - 12 years.

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Musical Journey down the streets of San Francisco and Berkeley
19 May 2007
4.00 to 5.00 pm library@esplanade - Open Stage
Admission : Free

Join Michael Cho as he takes you on an intimate journey starting from his first song written when he was 13, to the times when he was crooning to his "songs of freedom" on the streets of San Francisco and Berkeley.

938LIVE Gets You Talking as Singapore's only all news and talk radio station. We'll give you all you need to know about What's In, What's On and What's Up in Singapore.

Find out about our next networking event here.

Entrepreneur Mary Kay Ash once said "Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck saying, 'Make me feel important.'"

Mary certainly knew what she was talking about. That little secret to working well with people helped her grow her business into the largest direct seller of skin care and color cosmetics in the United States. Mary understood that in any relationship, whether it's a spouse, child, client, colleague, or casual acquaintance, the best way to make a lasting impression is to take the time to make others feel genuinely valued.

Here are some ways you can make others feel more important.

• Greet everyone you meet with enthusiasm. A greeting of ardent and genuine enthusiasm sets the tone for your entire encounter. It's such a simple skill (the hardest part is remembering to do it) but if you CAN remember, it will enliven all of your relationships.
  

• Slow down. Take the time in conversation to really listen. Focus on taking in what he or she is saying in words, tone, and body language instead of thinking about what you are going to say next. Relax and listen before responding. Work on identifying the other person's needs.
  

• Work on remembering the details of past conversations and encounters. Ask about the things they confided to you. How did her business presentation go? How is his ailing father? It's often helpful to make little notes to remind you to ask about something or someone the next time you meet.
  
  
• Appreciate the small things that people do for you and never pass up an opportunity to say thank you. Find simple and small ways to show appreciation and caring to those you love.

When you make the people around you feel important, you create a climate of trust and mutual appreciation, which can change your life in ways large and small. Try it today.

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Bridging the culture gap : a practical guide to international business communication
By Penny Carte & Chris Fox.
Publisher London ; Sterling, VA : Kogan Page, c2004.
Call No: English 395.52 CAR

When someone says something is difficult, what does he mean? According to the authors who have years of experience as trainers on cross-cultural matters, low context communicators like the Germans usually say what they mean. If this came from a Japanese colleague, he probably means impossible. Do not always take what high context communicators say literally and observe their body language.

Cross-cultural interaction is fertile ground for misunderstandings and communication breakdowns which could lead to potential loss of business. In an increasingly globally connected world, the chances of having to deal with someone from another culture at some point in our career are more likely than winning the lottery. In this book, you would learn about the communication styles of people from various cultures and much more. Content is presented in an organised manner, supplemented by real-life examples.

For example, the authors offer the following tips on giving presentations to international clients:

-Keep sentences short, simple and active.
-When presenting to the Americans, Italians and British, give them your recommendations upfront.
-Avoid the hard sell when presenting to the Germans, Scandinavians, Finns and Japanese.

The authors, however, caution against stereotyping people from a particular culture as it is the skilled observer who will adapt and win when doing business internationally.

Reviewed by Ng Kiak Peng, Librarian, National Library Board

You can check the availability of these titles via our online catalogue at www.nlb.gov.sg

What is the difference between while and whilst; amid and amidst and when do you use them?

There is no difference in meaning between the two items in each pair. The second item in each case is more formal. Some might find them old-fashioned.

Click here to email your questions to us!
(All submissions may be edited or used in other media)

Beyond Words
Mon - Fri, 7.50am and 9.45am

Most common among the speech faults is mumbling through our teeth and half-closed lips, and pronouncing our words so carelessly that we destroy all the beautiful sounds that are rightfully a part of the English language.

These are bad habits of speech that may be the result of poor training, of association with others who are careless of their speech, or of carelessness on our part. How we acquire these habits is immaterial. The point we must remember is that speech is a matter of habit; therefore we can acquire good habits of speech regardless of our heredity, environment, or formal education.

For other conversation tips,
join Michelle Martin every weekday as she talks about communication skills in Beyond Words on FRESH. To listen to the programme again, log on to 938LIVE.sg.

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Stories On Sundays
6 May 2007
4.00 pm to 4.30 pm
Tampines Regional Library - Playhouse

Admission: Free

Take a ride with our storytellers every Sunday. Travel through time and space, imagine the impossible and meet the characters you will not find in your everyday life! Besides having loads of fun, you will get to learn the wonders of the world too! For 7 - 10 year olds.

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How to create and encourage good speaking and reading habits at home
12 May 2007
2.00 pm to 4.00 pm
Geylang East Community Library - Auditorium

Admission : Free

Home can be an ideal setting to foster good reading and speaking habits. But questions like, How, What and When to nurture the love for English Language often leave parents not knowing what to do. Answers to these questions and more will be provided at a demonstration-cum-talk conducted by Mrs O’Rourke, an expert in early childhood education.

938LIVE Gets You Talking as Singapore's only all news and talk radio station. We'll give you all you need to know about What's In, What's On and What's Up in Singapore.

Find out about our next networking event here.

The Power of Asking Questions

You've probably heard the joke about how men can never ask for directions while driving. You know, how they will drive round in circles, hopelessly lost, yet are maddeningly confident about where they're going - "Don't worry dear, I know it's just after the next turn". How they will sooner eat their foot than admit they're lost and consult a passer-by?

Asking questions is an essential way we all learn - after all, a Chinese proverb goes "He who asks is a fool for a minute. He who doesn't ask is a fool forever". But the power of asking questions goes beyond simply asking other people questions. Asking ourselves the right questions can also have a dramatic impact on our self improvement, success and happiness.

There are times when we find ourselves in difficult or uncomfortable situations, or even in a position where we feel completely overwhelmed. It can be very easy to say 'what have I done to deserve this?' or 'why does this always happen to me?'

However, these questions are destructive and only serve to prepare us for future disappointments. In fact, they can actually guarantee it! The questions we ask ourselves reflect our state of mind, reinforce our beliefs and have a huge impact on our results.

Actually asking the question 'what can I learn from this situation?' is a great starting point, even if you only learn what not to do in the future.

For other related articles, click here.

Perfect Phrases for Cover Letters
By Michael Betrus

Do you have trouble writing good cover letters? If the answer is YES then this book will be useful for you.

This book provides proven tips for making your cover letter stand out. It also highlights to tailor your job search around the needs of the employer and not on your skills or background.

The author has included sample letters, letter formats, guidelines and phrases that can be used when writing a letter or e-mail when responding to an opportunity. He has written in a clear, concise manner and one can easily obtain the information at a glance.

I like the flow of the book as it is organized into 4 parts covering on Cover Letter Basics; Perfect Management Phrases; Individual Performance Phrases and Job-Search-Related Phrases. Some Action Verbs are listed as additional resources to be used as highlights of achievements in cover letters. The author suggests using action verbs abundantly in cover letters to highlight achievements and portray that you are an action-oriented person.

There are some tips offered for cover letters, e-mails, Internet, networking, interviewing and salary negotiation. These tips will come handy for anyone, to get the job that they want.

If Employers' are not calling you for interviews then ponder to see what went wrong. If you have not written an impressive cover letter then pay attention to it. This compact book with 137 pages is written in a simplified manner and can be a useful companion to guide you through in securing a job.

Reviewed by A. Manimegalai, Librarian, National Library Board

You can check the availability of these titles via our online catalogue at www.nlb.gov.sg

How do you explain the difference between 'when' and 'while'? For example: "He will visit the musical fountain when he goes to Sentosa." and "He will visit the musical fountain while he goes to Sentosa."

'When' and 'while' overlap in meaning but there are contexts where only one or the other can be used.

For example, your sentence should read:
"He will visit the musical fountain when he goes to Sentosa."

The sentence "He will visit the musical fountain while he goes to Sentosa" is not possible because 'visiting the musical fountain' can only happen while he is on the island of Sentosa and not while he is on the way there.

Thus, we would normally say: He will visit the musical fountain while he is on Sentosa.

As you can see, 'while' has a much stronger sense of something happening at the same time as something else.

Click here to email your questions to us!
(All submissions may be edited or used in other media)

Beyond Words
Mon - Fri, 7.50am and 9.45am

Personality is sometimes defined as the expression of one's self. We express ourselves by our dress, our grooming, our bearing, by every act and movement; but, most of all, we express ourselves by what we say and the way we say it. No other personality factor counts so much for or against us as does our speech.

For other conversation tips,
join Michelle Martin every weekday as she talks about communication skills in Beyond Words on FRESH. To listen to the programme again, log on to 938LIVE.sg.

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The World Schools Debating Championships Pre-tournament Exhibition Debates
28 April 2007
2.00 pm to 4.00 pm
library@orchard

Admission : Free

Hot and fresh from "The Arena" and into a library near you, two teams of Singapore's best debaters will face off in a clash of wits that promises to entertain. Come join us in the following debate: "What the world needs now is love sweet love."

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42ND RELC International Seminar
23-25 April
SEAMEO RELC Building, 30 Orange Grove Road, Singapore 258352

The annual Regional Language Centre (RELC) International Seminar provides an opportunity for language researchers and educators in the region to network and share views, resources and new ideas on language teaching.

This year's theme is "Strategies in Language Learning and Teaching". For more information on the seminar, please click here.

938LIVE Gets You Talking as Singapore's only all news and talk radio station. We'll give you all you need to know about What's In, What's On and What's Up in Singapore.

Find out about our next networking event here.

Managing conflict

When we feel like our "buttons" are being pushed, what can we do to maintain our composure and reflect on the bigger picture? How can we avoid making decisions we will regret later?

You can start by avoiding email like the plague when you're in a bad mood. This means of communication is so ubiquitous these days, we often don't think about the ramifications of using it too freely. We've all experienced the creeping dread one gets when we hit the "Reply To All" button without thinking. The next time you feel like venting using email, don't. Whining to a colleague or railing at an associate is one thing, but once that email goes out, there's nothing you can do to retract it.

Pepper your responses with the phrase, "I understand". Sometimes you may feel you're being insincere because what you're feeling is anything but "understanding". But it helps to soften the edges a great deal; you come across as calm and sympathetic, and the other party feels more obliged to work with you to solve the problem.

Some people love ruffling people's feathers for the heck of it. The objective is to make you lose your cool so you say or do something foolish. Take notice when you feel threatened by what someone is saying to you. Resist the temptation to defend yourself or to "shut down" the other person's communication. If you feel that someone is deliberately trying to agitate you, calmly let the person know that you will not take part in this debate now, perhaps you can talk later, and walk away from the situation.

We spend so much time with our co-workers, it's inevitable that dissent will occur. If you're unhappy with something, let the other person know in a calm and polite manner. Don't keep silent and allow the grudge to fester, or worse, vent your frustrations in other ways like ignoring the person or intentionally sabotaging him.

Managing conflict and anger is a delicate thing. Sometimes you feel like you're in the middle of an arid field perpetually in danger of being set alight by the unrelenting sun.

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Presentations that change minds: Strategies to Persuade, Convince, and Get Results
By Josh Gordon
Call no.: 651.73 GOR-(BIZ)

Do you have trouble persuading people to buy your products or services? Do you find it difficult to convince them to adopt your solutions? Well this book is the solution for you to get the results you want!

Josh Gordon, President of Gordon Communication Strategies teaches you 14 simple ways to successfully persuade any kind of audience and get them to do what you want!

Like adding chocolate fudge over ice-cream, Gordon's presentation tips adds flavor. He gives you real-world examples where these methods have been tried and tested. You will learn how each strategy will change your targets mind. He also teaches you to recognize opportunity when it knocks at your door and how to make it work for you.

He also guides you through your preparations before you meet your audience face-to-face for that winning presentation, where you will get your audience committed, change their preconceived ideas to your ways and secure that deal!

Just pick up this book to discover Gordan's14 wonderful ideas yourself.

By Nirmala Narayanasamy, National Library Board

You can check the availability of these titles via our online catalogue at www.nlb.gov.sg

Can you pleas tell me which is correct:

1) She told me you are going to the UK
2) She tells me you are going to the UK
3) She told me you were going to the UK?

I am afraid all three are possible depending on the parameters of the situation including formality and tone.

She told me you were going to the UK. (Formal / written)
She told me you are going to the UK. (Less formal)
She tells me you are going to the UK. (Informal / spoken)

Click here to email your questions to us!
(All submissions may be edited or used in other media)

Beyond Words
Mon - Fri, 7.50am and 9.45am

It is a good plan to say to yourself during a conversation, "Should I be interested if someone else were telling about himself what I am telling about myself?"

If your common sense answers, "No," then you should immediately draw others into the conversation and let them do the talking for a while.

Don't assume that because people seem to be listening to you, they are interested. They may be only polite or they may be thinking of something else. Don't wait for yawns or bored looks before you relinquish the conversation to someone else.

As one wise father said to his son, "Give others as well as yourself credit for knowing something, and remember that even if you talk well you mustn't monopolize a conversation

For other conversation tips,
join Michelle Martin every weekday as she talks about communication skills in Beyond Words on FRESH. To listen to the programme again, log on to 938LIVE.sg.

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Understanding the Love Languages of Your Child
14 April 2007
2.30 pm to 3.30 pm
Marine Parade Community Library

Admission : Free

Each child, like an adult, receives and expresses love through his primary love language. There are five love languages and you can learn all about them at this session. Discover your child’s primary love language so that you can meet his/her deepest emotional needs.

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What’s Causing My Child to Learn Poorly?
21 April 2007
3pm - 5pm
Bukit Merah Community Library

Admission : Free

This talk aims to help parents and teachers take the important role of recognizing, understanding and working with the learning differences of their children. The workshop will focus on five different areas of potential learning difficulties: auditory processing, visual processing, organization skills, attention deficits, and written output difficulties. There will be activities involving participants for each area covered.

Please call 63323255 to register.

938LIVE Gets You Talking as Singapore's only all news and talk radio station. We'll give you all you need to know about What's In, What's On and What's Up in Singapore.

Find out about our next networking event here.

Face-to-face job interviews – why do some candidates appear to breeze through them and get the job and salary they desire, while others bungle them again and again?

Successful job candidates simply put these top interview tips into practice.

First, know yourself. Understand just what your skills are and how valuable you’ll be to the company you’re hoping to join. Think about how you can communicate this to the interviewer in a way that’s not arrogant or aggressive.

Second, know the company well too. Do your research. It shows your desire to be part of the organization. It also helps you come up with relevant questions about the company.

Third, it’s important for you to sound spontaneous during the interview. Prepare your answers to common questions and rehearse them beforehand.

Fourth, avoid talking too much about yourself. Lsten to the interviewer instead. By listening intently to the interviewer, you show interest in him and his company.

Fifth, re-position your supposed weaknesses as strengths. For example, your tendency to dawdle over certain projects could be sold as a meticulous nature or your attention to detail.

Sixth, unless asked, do not volunteer your personal opinions about any topics.

And finally, though you should be enthusiastic, do not try too hard; it’s important to be professional but you should also be casual, not too uptight. When you’re trying too hard, it shows… so be yourself! You should come across as authentic and real. All the best!

For other related articles, click here.

Armed Gunmen, True Facts, and other Ridiculous Nonsense: a compiled compendium of repetitive redundancies

Author : Richard Kallan
Publisher : New York: Pantheon Books, 2005. [ 145 pp ]
Call No. : 428 KAL

Available at NLB libraries

This delightful compendium of redundant repetitions lists commonly used words and phrases such as PIN number, ATM machine, disorganized mess, duplicate copies, remaining residue to Kiss-kiss and Bye-bye. These are tautologies (from the Greek tautologia), a common form of redundancy or the use of more words than required. The excessive use of words or phrases tend to weigh down the text and cloud the meaning.

The writer also explains that several word combinations technically qualify as tautologies, such as Good Samaritan and positive assurance, which are often seen as integral parts of compound nouns.

My two favorites are: Deadly Killer (Mmm…what other kind of killer could there be?) and Armed Gunman (… so I could distinguish between two gunmen, one of whom is missing a couple of limbs?).

It is an amusing book about language that introduces readers to a wide variety of redundancies that most of us use unconsciously.

Reviewed by: Rohayah Md. Lani, Librarian, National Library Board

You can check the availability of these titles via our online catalogue at www.nlb.gov.sg

What is the difference between 'due to' and 'owing to'? Can they be used interchangeably?

Some writers insist that 'due to' is an adjective and can thus only be used in certain contexts:

The flooding was due to an inadequate drainage system. (We cannot say, 'The flooding was owing to an inadequate drainage system.')

'Owing to' is, however, used as a phrase and can thus appear at the beginning of sentences.

Owing to circumstances beyond my control, I was unable to reach the conference on time.

Some writers also write:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I was unable to reach the conference on time.

However, such use of 'due to' is heavily criticized by some writers and is probably best avoided.

Click here to email your questions to us!
(All submissions may be edited or used in other media)

Beyond Words
Mon - Fri, 7.50am and 9.45am

Remember that a likeable personality has enthusiasm, vitality, and graciousness. If you are enthusiastic, you will develop personality in your voice, for the voice with personality has to be an alive voice, and a voice that is alive is one that vibrates with enthusiasm and sincerity. If your voice is not dynamic you cannot hope to be attractive.

To speak well is an art. Like any other art it can be mastered only through hard work, but as with any other art, once you have mastered the technique, performance becomes almost automatic.

For other conversation tips,
join Michelle Martin every weekday as she talks about communication skills in Beyond Words on FRESH. To listen to the programme again, log on to 938LIVE.sg.

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Making Your Career Recession-proof
31 March 2007
2.00 pm to 3.00 pm
Bishan Community Library

Admission : Free

Take charge of your career! Learn to protect yourself from the ever volatile boom-recession economic cycle and gather tips that you can implement immediately. This talk is for everyone who desires to manage their career better.

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Fitness @ Work
29 March 2007
Lee Kong Chian Reference Library - Level 1- The Plaza

Admission : Free

Always thought that regular exercise wasn’t possible due to your busy schedule? Think again, as exercise is now brought to your doorstep in this 1-hour workout specially brought to you at the National Library, so work up some sweat!

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It's tempting to write off "difficult" people as "jerks" but they can be great teachers and reminders for us. They often teach us important lessons about life and about ourselves. They also remind us to be more patient and accepting, and they force us to live true to the principles many of us say are most important - kindness, love, acceptance, forgiveness, respect, and others.

When we take the time to appreciate the "difficult" people around us, some amazing things happen. First of all, we find that there are actually many things we do appreciate about them. (Remember, we always find what we look for). Second, we allow ourselves to be open to the lessons these people have to teach us. Third, we let go of the unnecessary stress and frustration that comes along with constantly being irritated by another person. When we are willing to look for good stuff, even in these "difficult" people, we tap into the amazing power of appreciation. Appreciation allows us to greatly increase our own personal success and fulfillment, and it dramatically improves the environment around us as well.

Next time you think about, talk about and/or interact with these people, see if you can put more of your attention on the things you appreciate about them (what you wrote on your list and more), and less attention on the things that you don't like. .

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March Hares and Monkeys' Uncle
By Harry Oliver
To check availability online, click here.

The comment 'Jane is spitting feathers' tells you that Jane is very angry or in great distress. If someone is going to paint the town red, you know this person is going out to party in style.

We often sprinkle our language with such expressions unconsciously. The meaning of each individual word and the words strung together are usually poles apart. These words acquire special meaning due to happenings in the past, stories or legends.

The expression in cold blood originated from the belief that a person's blood is heated up in moments of anger, exertion and stress, resulting in the face turning red. Therefore, a person who could commit a heinous crime and remain calm both physically and emotionally was said to be acting in cold blood.

If you enjoy reading stories on how the meaning of words or phrases comes about, this is the book to read. Included in this book are stories on how places like 'New York' and 'Hong Kong' acquire their names. 'March Hares and Monkeys' Uncle' helps one to gain insight into the beauty of English Language.

Reviewed by Tey Hwee Chen, National Library Board

Do I say, 'first-come-first-served' or 'first-come-first-serve'?

This is a fixed expression. The correct form is 'first come, first served'.

Source: Regional Language Centre (RELC)

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Beyond Words
Mon - Fri, 7.50am and 9.45am

When a celebrated person or a guest of honor is in your group, it is courteous to remain silent, but ordinarily complete silence is as poor a contribution to conversation as talking incessantly.

The active listener, how-ever, often contributes much to a conversation through the stimulus he gives the speaker.

It consists of genuine interest in the speaker and his subject, manifested in an alert manner and concentrated attention on the speaker and what he is saying.

For other conversation tips,
join Michelle Martin every weekday as she talks about communication skills in Beyond Words on FRESH. To listen to the programme again, log on to 938LIVE.sg.

Laugh n Learn
6 March 2007
7.00pm
Meritus Mandarin Hotel

Join motivational humourists Dilip Mukerjea and Charles Tremendous Jones for Laugh n Learn 2007.

They'll tickle your funnybones and show you how to use humour to become a better leader, and to motivate your team to achieve their full potential.

Ticket Price: $55 per person or $500 for a table of 10pax.

For more information, please contact Mag on 6359 7313.

938LIVE Gets You Talking as Singapore's only all news and talk radio station. We'll give you all you need to know about What's In, What's On and What's Up in Singapore.

Find out about our next networking event here.